In the 70's and 80's, there was a television program called "Happy Days". It was a comedy set in the 50's (and 60's, I think?). It was one of my favorite shows as a kid and my favorite character was Fonzie, played by Henry Winkler. If you're not familiar, Fonzie was a leather jacket-wearing 'cool' greaser kind of guy. Everyone respected him and all of the girls were attracted to him. For a young kid, he was a powerful idol.
Because I was so young and didn't have the reasoning skills older people had, I literally would say "I'm Fonzie" to people. I'm sure the adults would be like "Haha, cute, kid" or just dismiss what I said entirely. Kids constantly made fun of me, not only because I thought I was Fonzie, but I guess my lips were too big or red, or something. Kids are experts at finding the tiniest issue with someone and blowing it up to crazy proportions.
Of course, everyone was right - I was not Fonzie, but I couldn't understand that concept at the time. What I should have said was "I want to be like Fonzie", but my young, immature and autistic brain just couldn't wrap itself around reality back then. So was it okay for everyone to treat me badly because I said I was literally Fonzie? Probably not, but life is full of unpleasant people and situations.
No matter how hard I thought I was Fonzie, the fact is, I would never be Fonzie! Fonzie was a fictional character on a TV show - I was a young and stupid kid who was living in a fantasy world. Sure, my family tried to reason with me and convince me that I wasn't Fonzie, but I was too young and immature to work through that reasoning.
I was also a Vulcan
Either before or after the whole "I am Fonzie" thing, I thought I was a Vulcan, like Spock on "Star
Trek". I wanted to be just like Spock because he rarely showed emotion, was smart, strong and
an alien serving aboard the Enterprise among humans. At the time, I didn't realize it, but being
an undiagnosed autistic kid made me an 'alien' among neurotypical people, so that must have been
why I liked Spock so much.
Yep, Data too
When I was in my thirties and struggling with depression and in a challenging marital situation, I
started to emulate Data from "Star Trek: The Next Generation". Yeah, I know, sounds like mental illness
at this point, but again, I didn't know I was autistic and was trying to cope with the world the best
I knew how (obviously not very well). I wanted to be disconnected from my feelings because I was very
sad about how my life, marriage and family was going - sometimes acting like an android gave me
a tiny bit of comfort.
Who was I really?
Despite whatever I was thinking, I was Will Brokenbourgh. I was not Fonzie, I was
not Spock and was not Data. I was a human being, with depression and undiagnosed
autism. Full stop!
Wanting to be a different gender or species doesn't make it a reality
I recently heard someone say "A rooster don't lay no eggs". I had a good chuckle when I heard that,
but that's about the most gentle way you can put it. Those who are born males are men. Those
who were born female are women. There are those who are born with both types of private
parts, but that's rare and definitely not the majority. You may want to be the opposite sex,
or a cat, or a donkey or a Vulcan, but wanting does not make it reality. You may think that you were
born in the wrong body, or family, friends, fellow students or co-workers may put the thought in your
head that if you were a different gender (or species) you'd be happier. Let me tell you, living in
reality is hard, no question about it, but living a lie is not freeing, it's a thick
rusty chain that will eventually destroy you.
God doesn't make mistakes
When God created you and breathed life into you (no, you didn't become alive accidentally), he did
not make a mistake! Most people who are trying to be a different gender or species are
dealing with trauma, emotional or mental health issues deep down. Who wouldn't want to take complete
control of their whole life and dictate exactly how things will go? Unfortunately that's impossible.
Mentally and physically altering your body does not make you something else - it often causes scars,
anxiety and even worse mental issues. When you try to change what God has created you to be, pain and
anxiety start to grow deep down inside. Sure, you can act brave, talk the talk and walk the walk, but
are you really truly happy? Aren't you just putting on an act when deep down you're crying for help?
You may not even realize you're acting, instead trying to please your partner, family, friends or some
group you belong to.
What God says about you and your identity is the real and honest truth - trying to deviate from that only causes problems. Instead of trying to change your gender or your species, why not get to the root of the issue - the pain, the hurt or the mental illness? Addressing what makes you unhappy and dissatisfied with your current self will get you started in the right direction. Instead of finding a counselor or therapist that will affirm your false identity, find someone who will get to the bottom of the issue you're facing.
Before I received counseling and before I was diagnosed with autism, I was no better off than someone who wanted to change their gender. I thought I was losing my mind, was dealing with much darkness and sometimes feeling like I was better off dead. I thought I was hopelessly broken and there was no future. I felt like I was always the problem in everyone's lives. When the whole autism thing was explained to me, when I underwent counseling and realized that I wasn't going insane, it changed how I saw myself. Instead of being confused and angry about my identity, I finally saw that I'm different than other people, but not bad, evil, rebellious or defective. If you are struggling with your identity, don't let this confusion bring you down a dark path. Instead find help from a mental health provider or counselor who is not interested in pushing gender change or sex change surgeries.
Also seek God
Yes, our brain is fleshly and often needs help from a mental health professional, but you should also
pursue a relationship with the one and true God. He is a healer, and often works through
medical and mental health providers. Knowing what God says about you will help you see yourself in a
different light. Give your heart and life to Jesus! Study God's word, the Bible and see for yourself
what God says about you, despite what lies an abusive world heaps on you!
I am Will B!
I am not Fonzie, Spock or Data, I am simply Will Brokenbourgh. I no longer have to pretend to be someone
else because God has healed that part of me, I have received professional counseling and am loved
by my immediate family, just the way I am. Can I improve? Definitely! Have I 'arrived'? Absolutely not!
But now that I know I'm a child of God and not an alien or an android, I have a certain peace that was
sorely missing before. I'm hoping you feel this peace too! 
God bless you, and thank you for reading!
About me
First and foremost I'm a follower of Jesus Christ. After that, I'm a blessed husband, father and
grandfather. I do remote computer work for a living although it's mostly part-time. I'm an amateur
radio operator - AF7EC. When I'm not working on the endless list of house and car projects, I like to
tinker with electronics, like to listen to shortwave radio and write software (mostly open-source) in
C, C++ and Python. I usually bounce around between macOS, Linux and Windows for support and
development work. Overall, I am a big nobody, but always willing to share about Jesus and all that
God has done for me and my family.
Comments
(No comments yet)